Long distance relationships: Having doubts

First things first, there’s no doubt that long distance relationships are hard. From time to time you might start asking yourself questions like will this even work? Can I actually cope? And you may even feel guilty for that thought even crossing your mind, but trust me it’s to be expected. Long distance relationships are tough and it is easy to start worrying about what the future may hold.

I met my boyfriend at university, however he graduated and I am still studying therefore since the summer we have become a long distance relationship as he has returned home. When we first met the thought of us living far apart didn’t cross my mind much, I guess I was so caught in the moment and so happy I’d found someone like him. However, in the last few months before he left university the doubts started to kick in and I started stressing about how I’d cope not getting to see him as often as I did. It didn’t help that I was completely new to being in a long distance relationship and family and friends would constantly be asking questions like ‘What are you going to do when he goes back home?’. We have now been long distance for 3 nearly 4 months and I can’t believe how fast that has gone already and it does feel more normal to me now even though it will never stop being hard.

I’m not going to lie there are times when I find the distance so unbearable and all I want to do is be in his presence but I found ways of trying to talk positively to myself and change my thoughts. The main thing I tell myself when I start having any kind of doubts about the distance is to think about how happy I am now and how I’d feel if I wasn’t in this relationship. The pain of the distance is definitely more bearable than the pain I’d feel if I lost him. Another thing I find helpful which he always reminds me of is how fast the time has gone already, it feels like only yesterday we went home for summer. We have the end goal in sight and he reminds me to think of how this fraction of time spent apart is nothing compared to what we could spend together in the future. So have end end goal in sight, count down the days till you next see each other and think every day is a day closer to being together!

If you really love the person you are with I have faith that you can do it! Leave a comment or contact me either via the form in the sidebar of my homepage or email me at loveoflifemh@gmail.com if you would like to talk to either myself or try and find other people who are in or have been in an LDR. 

MH