Unhealthy Friendships

I have been wanting to write this post for so long, it's such an important topic that no one seems to mention. We are quick to talk about unhealthy romantic relationships but often people forget the impact of unhealthy friendships. I wanted to share with you some of my experiences and what to look out for. 

 Unfortunately I have found myself in quite a few bad friendships and I know how hard it is to be able to break away from them. This is a reoccurring problem of mine, constantly finding myself in friendships that are not healthy and often not even realising it.

When I was younger, in high school, I had a friendship that was not at all healthy but I never fully acknowledged how bad it was until I got out of the friendship. Trust, for a start, is such a key factor in any relationship. If you feel you cannot trust your friend you have to think about the quality of the relationship. For me trust was a major issue in this friendship, it was very tough wanting to confide in someone about something but then finding they would go and tell the whole school what said.

A friend should support you, support your goals, your decisions, your other relationships etc. If they are constantly making you feel bad for things you want or do in your life you have to consider the impact this might have on you. This can completely knock your self-esteem, and ruin your happiness, you need to get rid of negativity. A friend expressing their opinion is okay, but if they are not willing to support you even if they don't agree with whatever if is you want or are doing then they are not a true friend. They will just be making you feel bad about yourself.

Following on from not supporting your decisions, friendships, especially when you are younger, especially in school, everyone is trying to be 'cool' and friends often try and pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. If they have no respect for your decision and are pressuring you to do things and making you feel bad if you don't do them, this is not healthy. This can be particularly dangerous physically as well as mentally with things such as drugs and alcohol. It is shocking the things people do to impress/please there friends and although it is sometimes hard to say no in the moment, think about how you will be glad you stuck your ground in the long run.

If you are finding yourself always giving, going out of your way and trying to put them first every time and getting nothing back, this is another sign of an unhealthy friendship. This is something I still struggle with today, I like to help people, no matter what sacrifice I have to take to help them and I've noticed when I want that help back, I don't get it. This is such a hard one for me because I tell myself to be more selfish, put myself first because I know I'm not getting anything back but it's just not in my nature and I always struggle to not go out of my way for people. But if a friendship is so one sided it can be really exhausting and they can learn to take advantage of you if you keep doing it without even hesitating. You need friends who are there for you too instead of you just being there for them.

Communication is also a key factor in friendships, or any other type of relationship. If you are finding yourself being the one who has to start conversation all the time and always being the one trying to arrange meeting up this is not a good friendship. This was an issue I was having in a friendship not that long ago. All of a sudden it seemed so much of a struggle to get them to talk to me, or meet up, I was constantly having to make so much of an effort for us not to loose contact and in the end I had to just let us drift apart as the effort was so one sided on my part.


Let me know if you have experienced any of these things in the comments, or if you have experienced anything I have not mentioned here!

MH